Where is it?
Where must it go?
Before it finds me,
I must know.
It’s not enough to track it
Or wait for the mail outside.
Can I get a LoJack to fit
And follow on Google maps live?
I need it need it need it
Why isn’t it here?
By now I could have went
To the pub for some beer.
It normally comes a bit slower
Than I would personally like
But I’ve already had a long shower
Since riding 20 miles by bike.
I’m starting to itch and twist
My sweaty parts dampened already
Palms fully hidden by fists
I don’t think I can stay steady.
So much to do, so much to see,
How will I get it all done?
Oh no I have got to go pee…
The bushes won’t tell anyone.
Feeling refreshed and relaxed,
I move to my favorite spot.
Do they remember I asked
For arrival at two on the dot?
What am I thinking, what do they care?
They’re probably eating some bacon.
They have no stake, no eggs, nor a share
In what’s inside of the package they’ve taken.
Where is the box? Where is the box?
It’s starting to make me go nuts!
The neighbor kids got chicken pox,
They have the spots all over their butts!
So where is it now that isn’t right here,
And already it’s five after two.
Then suddenly an outburst of fear
“No Ma, I DON’T LIKE BEEF STEW!”
When did a meal get so scary?
What was I anxious about?
Why does my face feel so hairy?
I’m holding some fresh sauerkraut…
Something is different than I had thought
I’m waiting for something of which I know naught!
I must have once known then forgot,
But look at the pretty blue dot!
It spins around like a windmill
Around and around on the breakfast
Perched high on top of the hill
How can I get to my repast?
The hill isn’t there right this second
The eggs are up in the air
The honey is shouting and beckons
“Get your butt downstairs!”
So I stare and stare but get nowhere
What the hell’s going on?
I shield my eyes from the glare
Waking me up right at dawn.
Shit. And it’s Saturday too.