Oh dear, what a day
How did it go wrong
Not one good thing happened
All.  Day.  Long.

First was waking up
What a big mistake!
Found myself in loads of pain
From a very nasty headache.

From there it went downhill
Found a hairball in the hall
The lights hurting my eyes
That weren’t on at all.

Ring, ring, ring,
Nature is a’callin’,
Went into the bathroom
As if I ate like Joseph Stalin.

But I hadn’t had potatoes,
Or tundra-frozen steak.
Just bit of tuna fish
And a store-bought protein shake.

So after that was over,
I started down the stairs.
Then I found out hairballs
Can also come in pairs.

Got the paper towels,
Cleaned up both the clumps
That was when learned that I
Would take a pair of dumps.

Finally I’m in the kitchen
Grab a fresh pint glass
Nothing in the fridge to drink
Because I drank the last.

Tap water is still flowing,
I get a bit of ice.
Fill it to the brim,
The taste is very… nice.

That’s when I started yawning
And laid down on the couch,
Had myself a cereal bar
And passed out like a slouch.

Woke up two hours later,
Damp from a cold sweat
So far I’d been up for an hour
And the sun began to set.

I wish that I could tell you
Things had gotten better,
But next I wrote a poem
Of which you just read the last letter.


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