There once was a new shade of yellow,
Designed to be used in your Jello.
But once they did testing
And found hearts congesting
Monsanto paid off the good fellows.
Time has a one-way direction,
And life can begin unexpected.
So be very picky
‘Bout whom you make sticky
By sharing with them your erection.
There once was a virgin named Mary,
Whose son had a death temporary.
And after three days,
His body was raised,
To honor that we give kids candy.
Summer is almost upon us,
And mud will turn back into dust.
So become a beach bum
And tan in the sun.
So your skin will develop a crust.
Often I hear them complaining
“There are no good men yet remaining!”
But when a nice guy
Will stop and say “hi”,
They act like they don’t hear a thing.
I used to watch cable TV,
But now there is nothing to see.
They want so much cash
For the signals they patch,
But I can’t afford more than $FREE.
I once had a beautiful ring,
My only attempt to have bling.
It’s tungsten carbide,
Will forever survive,
Now where did I put the darn thing?
Sometimes I dream of success,
A wife to whom love I profess.
But then I recall
I don’t have that at all,
So I wake up a little depressed.
One time I was sitting in class,
With time just refusing to pass.
I waited through silence
As brutal as violence
But broke it by passing some gas.
A man should behave like a man,
And not like the trash in the can.
If hitting your wife
Is part of your life
Then you are not really a man.
Cookies are awfully sweet,
A favorite I often would eat.
I look so pathetic
While pouting at Rice Krispie Treats